little brother for sale

he only smells a little bit and i’m selling him real cheap!

mom and dad came home last week with a new toy for me in the form of a puppy.  an 8 week old white miniature schnauzer puppy to be exact.  they think he’s cute (i hate to admit he kinda is) and they fawn all over him and try to get us to play all the time.  mom has been going camera crazy and it seems like in every other picture she’s trying to somehow get me involved, too.  don’t get me wrong, i love posing for the camera, but doesn’t she know that means i’d actually have to sit next to the little monster?  ew, srsly.  the other day she even made a video or two of us together.  we all know who the star is of the videos, though.  that’s right.  i am the established handsome one, and don’t you forget it.

the parental units call him winston.  i call him stinky.  he reeks of puppy breath and cuteness.  it makes me sick.  i’m the baby of the house, but now mama calls winston her baby and calls me her big grown up boy.  they even brought home some new toys that they keep telling me are winston’s.  i made quick work of that little squeaky steak toy.  serves it right for being such an inferior, wussy toy. everyone knows it’s all about tug of war, and while my new brother may have puppy breath, at least he’s getting the hang of my favourite game already.  at first i didn’t like having a shadow follow me around but it’s kinda neat that he wants to be just like me and go wherever i go.  when he’s not following me everywhere i start to worry about where he is and then i have to go hunt him down.  but it’s only because i want to be sure and catch him doing something he shouldn’t be doing so i can tell mama on him, not because i enjoy his company or anything.  that would just be silly.

ok really, it’s nice having someone to play with all the time, just don’t tell anyone i said that.  mom and dad are teaching me how to use my “indoor voice” when we play because i’m obviously so much bigger, stronger, and more handsome than winston, which means my barks are much louder and more manly than his.  i try to grumble and make a fuss when winston gets too close, but secretly i enjoy having him around.  i just have to act tough to protect my reputation, ya know?

anyway, i’ve decided that winston is no longer for sale. but i better go take those ‘for sale’ signs down before mom and dad get home.